There are moments your life that will be forever branded, permanently marked, deep into your heart. Moments where you could physically feel the bounty that you were enveloped in. Moments of happiness, peace, and deep all consuming love. For me, one of those moments was right before I chose to walk, on my Father’s arm, toward my future husband. I did not know that there would be so much more to learn and to grow together through. I remember standing there and realizing that this is where the last seven years of my life had led me. This is where his path and my path would become a path that we would walk together. That realization could have been scary, nerve wracking, and possibly overwhelming, but I knew, in my soul, that I was walking towards the man God had prepared for me. In that moment, all I could feel was the joy in recognizing life’s bounty. It would be so much later that these 5 tips to a successful marriage would become my bounty and so, here they are. My top 5 tips to a successful marriage and keeping that bounty with you.
5 tips to a successful marriage
1. Start each day with your spouse in prayer.
That’s right. There are three of you in this marriage and turning your hearts to each other and following the guidance of our loving Father in Heaven sets you up for success. You will start the day with peace in your heart and love for one another.
2. Always consider the impact of your words before you speak them.
I am not saying do not speak up when needed. What I am saying is there is always a kindler gentler way to say what you need to and who better to speak kindly to, than those that we love. Is there any better feeling than when your love notices, evaluates and considers your thoughts and feelings? I would have to argue that there is not much better than that! To truly be considered, respected, and considered is bounty indeed. And remember a lot of the time your tone of voice speaks louder than the words that you say.
3. Respect each other’s boundaries.
Set clear boundaries. It’s okay. You are allowed to have them, but the same goes for your spouse. Knowing where you stand and what you need will free you to be all in, in your marriage. When your spouse knows (because you told them…please don’t make them guess or figure them out on their own) your boundaries it allows them to see you and show you respect. It allows you to recognize the best ways to serve your spouse.
4. Don’t ever forget that you are two individuals.
Marriage consists of two people. Not two people trying to become one. Two people communicating, moving forward together, and still remaining true to themselves. It’s okay to be different. You should revel in the fact that you are. We are individuals in love, matrimony, and life making up a couple. Meaning two. We make two. Have I said that enough? WE ARE TWO INDIVIDUALS. WE ARE NOT, NOR SHOULD WE EVER BE, TRYING TO BE THE SAME. I like to read…all the time. I enjoy painting my toenails and hot bubble baths. My husband hardly ever reads. Would never paint his toenails (thank goodness for that…my feet should be prettier than his) and he prefers a shower. In many ways, our extreme differences (and they are…we have no similar interests besides our marriage and our family) compliment each other. We fit together. We help each other. Where I am weak, he is strong. Where he is weak, I am strong. Life is also so much more exciting when we help each other step out of our comfort zones and try something new. Can you imagine how boring life would be if we were completely the same? No thanks. That would never be my choice.
5. Remember when it is hard the very reasons that you fell in love with them.
There will be hard times. This is simply life and if it is never hard, then I either want to congratulate you or cry for you. Those hard times have made me love my husband in a deeper, purer, more all-encompassing love. So, when it is difficult to be in the same room or to even look at your spouse, remember the first time you saw them. Your first kiss, the kindness they show to you, the support they give you, the way it feels to be wrapped up in their hug and their love. The way it feels when they pick you out of the crowd and their eyes never leave you. Hold on to that. Communicate, work together, and never ever stop loving even when loving is something you don’t want to feel.
5 tips to a successful marriage. Bounty right here. I hope you read it. I hope you love it. I pray that you recognize it in your own life.
To read more on marriage check out, The Den.