I heard some advice once and I honestly can not recall where, but I probably read it (because that’s what I do…just ask my husband). Anyway, it really stuck with me. It was very simple. Nothing fancy. Not really a new concept, but a very important one. Feed the good in your marriage. That’s it. Simple, true, and now I consider it bounty.
Feed the good in your marriage.
I have thought about this advice multiple times during my marriage and it seems to be centered around the following five things: kindness, love, respect, support, and service.
Do we really need to chat about this one? I think we all know what kindness is and how to give it to others. Use kind words, don’t speak harshly, consider what you are saying and the impact your words will have. I really love the Five Love Languages book, written by Gary Chapman, and if you know what you and your spouse’s language is, it will be easy for you to find kind acts or words to show them love. If you want to find out what your language is you can do that here.
The whole reason you are where you are. The thing that started it all. Cherish it. Look for and acknowledge the things you love about your spouse. See them through the lens of love. The biggest concept I have learned about love is that love is ever changing and just when you think you have a grasp on how deep it can go, it goes deeper and changes your relationship all over again.
This has a lot to do with kindness. Don’t speak down to your spouse. Don’t patronize or dismiss worries or concerns. Listen when they are telling you something. I mean, how do you want to be treated? Right…that thought you just had after reading that question. Use it to feed the good.
When Bruce and I were young (and had no clue what we were doing…oh wait…still don’t) we had these crazy ambitions and it was magical. The excitement I felt when I finally figured out what I wanted to do. The joy when he helped me do it. Those goals have changed. My ambitions are different now. His support has never wavered (even when my ambitions are a little…okay… a lot on the crazy side). I know how good that feels and try to give him my best support in his ambitions.
This is one of the easiest ways to feed the good. Do something for your spouse just to help them. Do something for them that you know they do not want to do. Do it whether you like it or not! Watch for ways to serve your spouse because there are so many ways to serve each other and these acts do not need to be anything big. Serve with love to feed the good in your marriage.
This advice has always been a great way to bring me back to the center of our marriage and to feed it, nurture it, and create more bounty. Do you have some great advice that has helped you feed the good? I would love to read all about them in the comments!